boy have I missed you guys!

Does anyone still check on me or have you guys given up on me completely?

Well, I swore I would be in bed by now but I can't put off posting for one more day. Oh my gosh, where do I start? I have sooooooooooooooooooo much to say. I have thought about all of you during the past two weeks. Wondered what funny things Loren was saying, how the Quilao cuties were doing, wondered how Angie's circus and Tammy's hellions were. Wondered how the Steece quads were growing and enjoying their new home and what insightful and touching things Lots of Scotts was posting just to name a few. So much has fallen by the waist side in the past two weeks, it's crazy. I never did come back to post on my first day at M.A.C and I know you guys were dying to hear the details, so here goes...

The past week has really changed my life. It has thoroughly changed my perspective. And, it has given me so many things to consider and digest. M.A.C is quite an amazing company with perks that would make you all really jealous. But truth be told, there was not any amount of free lipstick or eyeshadow that could have stopped the tears, mended the heartbreak, or relieved the sadness I felt from missing my kids last week. The first few days I cried every time I thought about them. Dropping them off at school was torturous. They screamed and held on to me for dear life. I felt like I was abandoning them. I would leave the school in tears and then want to kick myself for ruining my makeup on the way to work...lol serious basket case. I started last Wednesday, by Friday I told Chris I couldn't do it. I had decided that it was all a selfish fantasy and I needed to get my butt back home with my kids where I belonged. He was really disappointed that I was giving up so quickly, and quite frankly is probably the only reason I got a grip on my emotions and decided to give it some time. The weekend was better, I spent all day Sunday with them and was amazed at the new things they had learned in just 3 days at preschool.

This week things have settled down a bit. The kids are really warming up at school and enjoying it. They have learned their whole names, days of the week, months of the year, numbers 1-20, etc. etc. They love their teacher. Mason is still having some separation anxiety in the morning, but they say he calms down within about 20 minutes or so after I leave. Potty training? We are making progress, but still not consistent. I doubt the 2 week promise will stand, but we are on the right track:) Work is really fun and I'm glad I didn't turn around and run last weekend. I really considered it. The artists at my counter are awesome and I think it will be a really amazing experience. I need to find a way to balance it all out and find a new routine for keeping our household under control. Currently, I have no clean silverware or panties...lol

I promise to keep you posted, my brain needed time to process this past week. I hope you all are well, I am off to read your blogs!