Rest in Peace my dear friend...

I am so shocked and devastated over the death of one of our close friends. Courtney was one of a kind, he was sure to light up a room and make you laugh.

It was just a few weeks ago that we caught up with each other and planned to get the family together and hang out. Unfortunately, I did not call soon enough. It is so hard for me to wrap my mind around this. How could it be? I had skimmed over the forwarded mail he sent me in my inbox several times not knowing that he would be gone from this earth the next day.

Death is one thing I am not prepared to handle. As a Christian, death should not be so hard to grasp. But I admit that I am extraordinarily attached to the physical.

I pray that the Lord gives Susan, his dear wife to be and their two beautiful children Blake and Raigen peace in their hearts. I pray for her strength to go on with two babies counting on her. I pray that their little minds are not to confused and that they have little angels assigned to them to give them extra peace and comfort.

Courtney was killed in the line of duty. He was a Maryland police officer and was a victim of a hit and run accident while laying cones to re-route traffic. The woman who hit him was later found and arrested on a previous charge of failure to appear in court for a DUI. They found empty alcohol containers in the back seat as well as alcohol on her breath. So tragic, so senseless.

It is such a painful reminder of how I take my own life for granted. How I take for granted that my loved ones will always be here.

I am paralyzed with sadness. Is it really too late for me to say goodbye? If I shout loud enough that I loved him and cherished his friendship will he hear me? Did he know? What can I do to give any little piece of him back to his young children that will never get to know him? At 2 and 4 how much will they remember? ughhh, I can't get over it. Truly my wish is to honor his legacy and celebrate his life, but forgive me for my emotional out pour. It is all just so fresh and shocking. I can only hope that Courtney is looking down and knows that he will forever be loved, that his friendship was cherished, and that he will not be forgotten. I will miss you dearly.

birthday pics...only about 14 days late;)

Asjia is blury so I didn't post but more pics coming soon!

Happy Birthday to my precious angels...

It is hard for me to believe that three years ago today was that special day I will never forget. The day that I had almost every conceivable emotion running through me. The day I was instantly changed in to a real woman. The day that will forever be my happiest and most memorable. The day that my life went from somewhat ordinary & peaceful to complete chaos...lol The day my three amazing babies were born!

Here are a few of my memories from that day...

I was on my third month of Hospital bedrest

I was wearing my Mom's pajamas that she had left when she visited. They were yellow with little cherries.

I was just about to eat breakfast

and the Doc came in to tell me it was my day. After the Resident had visited me earlier in the morning and my discomfort was obviously unbearable, they had made the big decision that it was time and that I was in the safe zone.


Fast forward a couple hours and Im in the O.R. looking around with such fear I could barely keep it together. The lights, the table, ughhhhhhhh. I actually contemplated running, although it would have been more like a brisk waddle. I wondered to myself how far a Woman resembling Shrek in a Hospital gown could get before they caught me. Really, I did. I remember the room filling up with people. I think the number got up to 20 something. I remeber a fantastic anathesiologist, and my petite 4'11" Doctor standing on a stool to get to my belly. Minutes later were the sweet cries of my babies, The look of awe on my Husbands face, and the most amazing moments of my life.

My sweet Kyle was first. I remeber his arms spread open and they were so long. Then Asjia, my baby girl with a dainty little cry. Then Mason, my little peanut. He had a full head of hear that looked like it had just been cut at the barbershop. He looked around and cried a few seconds later.

It was magical.

Here we are three years later. I have three amazing little people to show for it. Thank You Kyle, Asjia, an Mason for bringing so much happiness, love, and laughter in to my life. Thank You Lord for Blessing me so abundantly.

Happy Birthday, Mommy Love You!

lurking

yep...Im turning into one. I keep finding myself lurking through pages and pages of blogs, old and new, and leaving without a comment. I am lazy, I am selfish, and I am going to blog hell I know. What is my problem? I am on overload, my brain has more to process than it knows what to do with. Hopefully I will find my old self soon. Until then, sending all my beloved blog friends love. Know that I truly do love you!