the importance of separation...

Last week I had a touchbase with the kids teacher, Ms Christine. She is really a sweetheart. She said they were all doing fantastic, making huge progress, and right where they need to be age wise. The one observation that broke my heart was this...

She explained to me that they needed more one on one time with me. This is something that has been nagging me for a while, but this really hit home. She said that the lack of individual time alone with me instead of as a trio was causing insecurities within my children. She explained that there is no time to develop a close individual bond with each of them, and that has caused them to be insecure as individuals. She said that I may feel bonded with them because I am always with them and I give them tons of affection, but it wasn't the same as the bond would be if they had a chance to bond with me alone rather than all together. She explained that instead, they are bonding with eachother and that's where they get their security from. Thus, the reason they hate being separated. She told me that out of all the kids in the classroom, these guys were the furthest behind socially. They get scared when new kids join the classroom, have longer adjustment periods to new kids and teacher's, and are more relucant to try new things than the other kids. My heart droppped. Did I really cause my kids to be insecure? I am with them, loving on them, and teaching them every moment I can get my hands on. It makes sense though, they need me to know them in and out as individuals, not as a pack. They need to have their time, to have their own special moments with me or Chris, no interruptions. So, this is our new commitment. To allow each one of them to flourish and get as much alone time as we can find.

Today is Kyle's day. I can't explain to you the smile he had and the bounce in his walk as we left the school together holding hands. We went to the park, had lots of conversations, read a couple of books that he picked out, we will go to lunch together, take a nap together, and go get "ma brudu & ma chista" from school a little later. I will rotate each week, and my day off that week will be all theirs! For a Mom of triplets, having one tagging along with you is like nothing, it's actually very refreshing to get to focus on just one of them.